During weddings, the MAN is CALLED “GROOM” and the WOMAN “THE BRIDE.” Has it ever struck your mind what these really means? I tried checking out the etymology or origin of the word “Bride,” And I discovered that, the word may comes from the Proto-Germanic verb root *brū-, meaning ‘to cook, brew, or make a broth,’ which was the role of the daughter-in-law in primitive families. But Aoife Curran, in Ireland Legends and Folklore, suggests that the word “bride” may be named for Saint Brigit.
Going by the first, the Proto-Germanic verb, “Bride” means to cook, brew. There’s a whole lot of sense locked up here. None of you gets to a butcher and buys raw beef and begins to eat it without it being COOKED. To cook beef, you’ll wash it, season it, put it on fire and when it’s properly cooked, you then serve it and it’s usually delicious. The bride needs to be COOKED for her to become a WIFE. This must strike a very strong chord in the hearts of prospective “Grooms”.
Young men and married, please, do you have the ingredients to “cook” or you just have false expectation of a woman you married and want her to become your wife automatically. She’s your bride at the wedding and a prospective wife if only you’ll “cook” her, she’ll be so sweet and tasty. Just as it written,
“He finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord. (Prov. 18:22)”
Women are the most precious treasure under heaven. Samson desecrated his nazarite vows of consecrated living to marry a Philistine woman. It reminds me of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, who became sin for us and died for us and has washed us with the washing of regeneration of the pure water of the Word. Jesus Christ is truly a GROOM. If you can’t groom her then you can’t wife her.
To groom means to nurture tenderly, to cultivate to grow and turn to green, to care for. It’s etymology of old English origin. A person who takes care of horses was called a groom. He provides green provender for the horses, he cleans them, gives them a bath that is washes them to be clean. See! Is it any wonder why Jesus Christ is called the Bridegroom? He does all these for us. He washes us so that we will be without spots and wrinkles. He’s coming for a church without spot. The church is His bride. A people that He leads to clean provender, clean waters not only to drink but to wash, to bath. The clean water is the word of God.
The green pastures or clean provender is the word. He doesn’t have false expectation of His bride. He did not only die for her but He lives on to “groom” her. Making provisions for her perfection. Whereas, most the men sit to complain about their wives how they are far from being the woman the dreamt of. Beloved sit up and do the grooming! Some married men have broken up with their wives because they think that after months or few years of the marriage, they ended up not being the wife that they have dreamt of. But they have forgotten that on their wedding day was when the man was commissioned for the new task of grooming.
Does that sound ridiculous? I guess not so! Nobody calls the woman wife on her wedding day but bride, because it is the man that will groom his bride to become the wife. That is why the man is called ‘bridegroom or groom’ and the word grooming has to do with patiently nurturing, teaching, tending and helping someone to become what he or she should be. At least i have learnt that in marriage seminars for intending couples and couples meetings. A pastor friend once said that:
“It is therefore believed that a man that takes a woman to the altar of marriage should be matured enough to patiently groom his bride to become the wife.” He further said, and i quote, “The man is not supposed to just expect the bride to automatically become the wife, she must be groomed.
It is clear that many of us men have unnecessary expectations when we were getting married, we want some magic to happen to our wives, we want them to become what we have had in mind about who we want our wives to be; not considering the fact that the woman does not know what is on your mind except you teach her. Our expectations are often too unrealistic, because we don’t remember that change takes time and we can only expect something from someone that knows what we want.
Listen, before you think of breaking up, have you groomed her? Have you given her time to understand you? Hope you realize that a turtle will never become a hawk? God often brings people that are opposites of each other together in marriage so that they can help each other in their place of weaknesses. If your wife is weak where you are weak, then where will you get the strength that is needed?
The problem with many of us is that we don’t accept people before attempting to change them. Of course, our wives are not from our backgrounds, so it will take time for them to adjust. Stop trying to change her, accept her, love her, teach her and be patient with her; that is what grooming is all about. She is going to be your wife but she is your bride now, so groom her. Stop complaining about her, she may be a turtle and you a hawk, she cannot fly so be patient with her. I don’t believe that your marriage can’t work, be patient and allow God to help you.
God bless You”
This powerful write up is from our own beloved brother, Uwem Ekaette, he is a good writer and a publisher.
