The greatest wickedness I have seen under the heavens is the “license” or “provision” which makes for men to cheat on the women folk but a “taboo” for the women to cheat. This is wickedness. It pains my heart because this errornous gender divide has made an enroute into the “church”. What is the rationale for castigating a woman who cheats on her husband and exonerating the man who cheats on the wife? Tell that man that he’s going no where! To go mess up another woman? Are women emotional sex dump sites? Don’t get me wrong oh! I’m not a proponent of the “cheat-game”. No one ever prays to get married to a cheating spouse. As far as I am concerned, cheating is only a manifestation of several other internal crises among couples.
As long as those crises are not resolved, there will abound cheatings and cover up until it gets exposed and brought to limelight.Unless couple stop playing the “blame game” and take responsibility for their own actions and that of their spouse, even if they escape the present relationship through the highway of divorce, very certainly, they would catch up the cheating spree on the hold up of the new marriage.
The issue of divorce should not be contemplated in marriage because it clearly negates the marriage vow of “for better, for worst”. And like we had rightly opined using the words of Jesus Christ, “except on the grounds of fornication”. However, the divorce provision and certificate or bill was made because of the HARDNESS OF THE HEARTS OF MEN. Show me anyone pursuing a divorce, I’ll show you a hardened heart. However, there are exceptions.
The resolve to a cheating spouse whether male or female is to get to the roots of the matter which could be neglect from the male, nagging and lack of submission from the female, stinginess from the male, thoughtlessness from the female which in both cases are selfishness or self-centered living which is inimical to the seamless flow of trust borne out of love. It could even be bed issues. 70% of failed marriages traces it’s root to the marriage bed. Then bad habits relating to hygiene can lead to a divorce when not properly dealt with. Abuses and assaults on either partners such as bullying either partner as a punching bag; insensitivity to partners and the likes can lead to divorce.
Divorce is not the way out. There’s a scriptural provision for it in the epistle but the divorcee would stay unmarried until the death of either of the spouse. What an uphill task; an herculean task indeed. Only on very serious cases of death threats do I advice for “SEPARATION”. Separation is a technical divorce but it leaves room for reconciliation. That’s very important!
Jesus Christ said the concept of divorce WAS NOT SO FROM THE BEGINNING. There’s a whole lot locked up in this thought Christ was expressing. “What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder”. Not going on the highway of divorce is honoring God. But if the condition seems unbearable for either of the spouse, then separate or last option; divorce the union but this must be a last option after several reconciliatory efforts have failed by the families and the church. You wouldn’t have committed any sin to divorce but you must stay unmarried until the death of either of the spouse. Only then are you free from the oath of marriage which you were aforetime bound.
For me, forgiveness is it! 70×70 times = 490 times in one single day. I don’t think the worse of the worst couple can offend each other this number of times in one day. “To err is human and to forgive is divine”.
Let’s remain in His Unchanging love. Shalom!